What a mess we've made
by happywhitedaisies
Summary: formerly "I love you & this is goodbye" [reuploaded] unbeta-ed/unstable plot/bad grammar/multiple POVs/ "We aren't the people you thought we would be. We aren't okay?" Aomine's voice cracked. They were more screwed up than they think. chap 2 up. rated M in case.
1. the one you loved is now leaving

**warnings:** angst, lousy grammar, what-shitty-plot-is-this, is-there-even-a-plot, stupid thing, crude words, failure of sex/smut, random babbling. author's note at the bottom

* * *

"We aren't the people you thought we would be. We aren't okay?" Aomine's voice cracked.

He would not allow any tear escape, not even a single bit. He forced the words out of him like venom, stinging. His heart only wants him but god forbid that and here they were, breathing in bitter words and breathing out insouciance.

"A-Aominecchi... Hah.. How could you say that? After all we've been through?" Kise tried to stifle the hurt in his voice.

"After all we've been through?" Aomine forced out a chuckle.

_You told your friends I was your fuck buddy then laughed about it over champagne; I was waiting at the restaurant with an uncomfortable suit. I let you kiss other girls because you said it was 'part of your job'. Yeah right, including making out, having sex. You never brought me home once, just eighty-seven hotels, six penthouses and a private yacht. We fucked in all of them. Fifty-six times, you left before I even got up. You spiked my drink because your co-star wanted to touch me and I refused because I'm your fucking boyfriend but you set me up anyway. You left me stranded in the rain, in the snow, waiting for you nineteen times. You're not innocent. You're not fucking honest at all._

* * *

They met at a bar.

Both of them were physically and _sexually _attracted to each other.

Kise pushed the glass to Aomine's side of the table, "Hey, you look good so here's a drink on me."

Kise winked and left. Aomine is left to pick up the drink, the thought of the dashing blonde and his seductive wink. Aomine took a sip and felt himself getting hotter, unstable even. Both of them found each other in their arms, with their lips, with their tongues. It was technically the toilet but Aomine's head flashed too many colors.

The last thing Aomine smelt was vomit. The last thing Aomine remembered doing was marking pale, sweaty skin with his teeth. The last thing Aomine saw was honey-glazed orbs staring into his own. The last thing Aomine felt was a hot, raw tongue on his dick.

From a one night stand, it became a casual affair then it progressed to regular hook-ups with movies and dinner after. Finally, they exchanged I love you(s) and Aomine brought him home.

The perks about dating a model is eating classy food all the time and not having to pay, the privileges and visits to the many apartments he owned- but best of all, his fucking gorgeous face. How he smiled, talked, walked, sang, posed, winked, kissed, touched, _breathed_ made Aomine insane. The thing about Kise that he was full of fun ideas. Being with him was the absolute opposite of boring. Aomine liked that; Aomine liked him. For once, the nonchalant male wanted to be with someone.

* * *

(The first time he brought him home)

"Nice place."

"You're lying. I bet my manhood my home is the least fancy one you've ever stepped into," Aomine replied.

"So I get your manhood for dinner tonight? No joke, I was expecting worse but hey Daik-"

"Shut up and kiss me now," Aomine pushed his lips against Kise's, fingers clawing through Kise's yellow strands.

He could not stand it and no he would **not** tolerate it. Hearing his name in Kise's voice would just make him so feverish alone. He couldn't let himself appear as such a letdown in front of the man he wanted to impress.

* * *

"Aominecchi~ Look at me lick this chocolate ice-cream mmm~" Kise playfully teased.

"Oh god Kise. Stop it before I violate you in public," the tanned male turned away but occasionally glanced at his very sensual blonde.

He was satisfied. He was happy. It took them awhile but from a physical relationship, they've become something more. After 13 weeks and 3 days, Aomine has accomplished several things: 1. Kise giving him a nickname- 'Aominecchi' 2. Kise stayed over thrice. 3. They prepared a five-course meal together. 4. They bathed each other and had wonderful sex after. 5. Kise leaves his toothbrush at Aomine's apartment. 6. Aomine met Kise's sister once; Kise told him he was the first lover to ever did so.

A sneak chilly peck on the cheek made Aomine jumped slightly.

"Haha you got chocolate ice-cream on your cheek now mm what shall we do Aominecchi? Shall I lick it off you?" Kise whispered gleefully, inching closer to the bluenette. So close till he could feel Kise sending him snowflake kisses.

"You should act more like a violator," Kise laughed with his pretty long lashes in full bloom.

Aomine almost doubted his perfection but he shouldn't, or else he would have a lot of other things to doubt.

* * *

So love doesn't always work out. So goodbyes might make you feel relieved than insecure. So ... he made a decision

_Maybe we started off on the wrong path. Maybe given different circumstances, we would fall in love differently. Maybe given different lives, we would have more time and trust for each other. Maybe we were really meant to be; maybe we weren't. _

Enough sleepless nights, missed calls, arguments, insecurities, distrust, sarcasm, spite, pain, aches, lies. Aomine was done.

"I can't keep up with you Kise. So I'm done chasing after you."

Aomine left without looking back, not a glance at the most beautiful person he ever laid eyes on, at the person he dearly loved.

This was the final goodbye.

* * *

**a/n:** i am sorry for the shitty fict. it came up unexpectedly and i wanted to finish it asap before i went to bed so it's rather rushed as you can see, maybe i'll write one in kise's pov. Sorry for all the mistakes. I am in a not really good mood that's why i am trying to vent by writing this dumb fict hah. I don't know. When i am happier, i'll continue with chapter 3 of the songwriter's muse &amp; love affair

thank you for reading xoxoxo


	2. the one you unknowingly miss

So i'm back with part two of this. If you read my fics, you would know i have lousy grammar and weird metaphors and phrasing and basically everything. Idk. OOC maybe, added a new OC called Aya from this chapter onward. Idk leave a review/your thoughts because i look rather forward to them actually.

**same warnings apply, not beta-ed. **

* * *

"You're looking rather gloomy these days huh Kise-san?"

"Ehh..." Kise forced a wobbly chuckle out, "So I do really look that gloomy huh?"

"Ah. It's not that. The manager knew something definitely happened. She could not pinpoint it though but to be safe, she asked me to check up on you. Well... I don't blame her. Something is off. Not all of the staff actually realizes it but the people you are often with are always cheeky and fooling around. It's kind of surprising you spend most of your free time alone," a chunk or more came out of the blue-haired male's mouth.

Trailing his eyes to the mirror beside him, he took a close look of his facial expressions. Kurokocchi might have lied because he could not see any hint of pessimism in him.

* * *

"You're not hanging out with Aomine-kun anymore?" Kagami exclaimed in disbelief. Twirling the ice cubes in his drink, Kise nonchalantly replied, "Not really, why?" Kagami let out a sigh, "You seem kinda down lately..." Kise glanced up at the transparent glasses and breathed in the musky smell of cologne and alcohol. He closed his eyelids gently and replied, "Kurokocchi told you?" What gave Kise a little panic was Kagami replying, "No. I can tell."

Another figure swayed towards him. The pleasant smell of strawberries and strawberries alone clouded his surroundings. "Momocchi," the ex model greeted. "Kise-kun, where's that other hot tan guy? It's been awhile since I last saw him!" Momoi's voice was almost as sweet as her perfume. "Oh we are not together anymore," Kise took another sip of his drink, ignoring the sting in his chest. "That's surprising," her voice suddenly was not that chirpy anymore. She sat down at the stool beside his, taking Kise's glass cleanly away from his grip, "I thought you two would last longer than that."

* * *

"I have not seen you this often ne Ryouta." Aya exhaled her words as smoothly as the smoke from her lips. "Why? Don't you like seeing me this often?" Kise walked towards the couch where she was resting. "It's not that... I appreciate you being my patron but-" Kise put his finger to her lips, "Shhh. Don't say it."

Aya was a prostitute. Kise took pity on her because she was an acquaintance. Kise was doing a commercial with another model when he took notice of her standing by the corner of the room. She was the other model's girlfriend apparently. Kise's first thought was "Wow she looks good." But Kise knew well enoughnot to approach anybody else's girlfriend in the industry.

They continued the shooting next week at a different place and there was a different girl waiting by the sidewalk. "Hey, that's a different girl from last week," Kise casually commented, not wanting to sound offensive. "Oh yeah, found out the other one was sleeping around so I ditched her," came the other's reply. Kise honestly found it shocking; despite her attractive looks, she did not look like the kind to sleep around.

He saw her again at one of the bars he frequent often. She was as beautiful as he remembered. She caught him staring and walked up to him. Her pupils were dilated, Kise could easily tell she was high. "Are you the kind that would pay someone to sleep with you?" she tiptoed and tucked an imaginary strand of hair behind his ear.

Kise thought "why not?". But as soon as they went into the room, she collapsed on the floor. Kise carried her to the bed and waited for her to wake up. Aya woke up with her face feeling clean and tucked comfortably inside the sheets. She whiffed in the smell of eggs and bacon. Kise rushed out from the toilet when he heard sniffing sounds. He saw her weeping and muttering these two words again and again, " T-Thank you.."

He found out that the other model did not lie to him. She was sleeping around- with a reason of course. She was poor. Heck, he never expected that. She slept around for money. She confessed she liked the previous model a lot but now she's unsure of anything anymore. She could not ask him for money repeatedly; she did not want to be the girl that was with someone just for their wealth but with four younger siblings and a single almost dying mother, she did not have much of a choice. One thing Aya could not take was taking free money no matter how much she needed it. That was why she turned into the profession; at least she could accept that people were paying money for her time and body; at least it's not an one-sided gain thing.

Kise had an idea when she would not accept the money he offered her. Kise started patronizing her. He said "I'm no different from your other customers okay? They pay you for your time and so am I." He took her out to see the world she could not afford.

Sometimes they would just laze around her room but they did not do sometimes when either of them felt lonely, they would make out but stop before anything serious happened. He would laugh saying this is weird and she would agree. They were nothing but each other's companion for the world that they felt alone in.

Aya had a quota to fulfill every month. Kise tried his best to be the one fulfilling it but sometimes her bosses assigned her to other men. When Kise met Aomine, he regrettably explained to Aya he could not be there as often as he was seeing someone else. Aya patted him on the shoulder like how a younger sister should, "It's alright. I can still get by. Thank you for everything."

* * *

To be completely honest; Kise thought he did not gave a shit but actually, he did.

He did not even realize half of the things he did with Aomine were considered "exclusive". Going on dates, visiting each other to have sex, sleeping at someone else's bed more often than he did in his. He did this countless of times. Aomine was not the first and not the last.

That's what he thought.

He dug his fingers into his wallet's compartment and pulled out a purikura he took with Aomine. There were six panels:  
1\. Aomine looking awkward while Kise posed a victory sign  
2\. Aomine trying to smile but ended up looking too stiff while Kise was winking with a smirk.  
3\. They have their arms around each other's shoulder, trying to give a stern "gangster" look.  
4\. Kise kissed Aomine on the cheek while Aomine looked genuinely shocked.  
5\. Aomine kissed the top of Kise's head. Kise looked blissful.  
6\. Both of them were not even facing the camera anymore, they were just kissing.

Kise wanted to crumple the picture but he just could not as if there were chains around his fingers. He opened his wardrobe and saw the jacket Aomine gave him when he was complaining it was cold.

Aomine had not stepped into his apartment once. Nonetheless, around his house already had pieces of Aomine everywhere. He bought the peppermint cologne Aomine wore and sprayed it on every corner of his walls. He traded baby pictures with Aomine so there's a glossy wooden frame and a mini Aomine in it below his television. On the counter were several receipts from the restaurants they went together before. The thing that finally broke him was the key ring hanging on one of the hooks beside his door. It was a spare key with a wooden carving of the name 'Daiki'.

The clock was way past midnight and Kise was stuck at some deserted place. Kise picked up his phone and scrolled his contacts to find someone who was willing to pick him up and drive him home without going all batshit about a phone call at 4.12a.m. He scrolled his contacts fully twice to realize he doesn't have the number anymore. He deleted it. Kise decided to call for a taxi to the nearest motel instead.

He was having one of his horrible grade A hangovers where his head throbbed more than his heart per second; lost all sensation of his body; his lips were dry and his stomach let out a low grumble. Groaning, he flipped over to his sides to see no one lying beside him.

"It's not the first time I woke up alone anyway..." he tried to reassure himself but the used tissues around the bed kept piling up.

* * *

The scent of peppermint was closer to him than home. Kise opened his eyes carefully to find himself staring at a muscular chest. He did not need to look up to smile; moving his free arm to the other's waist, he meticulously traced the outline of the other with his finger. Suddenly, he felt the arms around him tightened.

"Ah.. Stop it Ryouta.. It tickles," a low, almost moaning sound was heard near his ear.  
"So you're awake?" Kise smiled once again, letting his hand fall on his lover's sides.  
"Yeah.. For awhile now since I kinda watch you sleep." His face grew hotter as he admitted.  
"You are a creep Aominecchi," Kise shifted upwards and gave Aomine a peck on his cheek.

"The creep that loves you," was Aomine's reply and Kise's heart was all smashed up again; he felt like the protagonist of a shoujo manga; like fifty thousand butterflies just busted out of his body; his blood became concentrated with all the sugary caramel goodness; everything he saw was in pink.

Kise's loneliness was gradually fading away.

* * *

**oops. so how was it? I am totally confused ( ´△｀)  
**The first chapter was written while I was extremely down; now i am sort of better but still somehow down though! I realized I have loads of incomplete fanfics written halfway in my thumbdrive and guess what? 80% of them are angst.


End file.
